Freedom:: My Life by Design

I am 24 years old & working from home.. there are nine words that I never thought I'd put together.

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As our we develop as individuals and form our lifestyles, the visions we have for ourselves are constantly changing. A handful of years ago, I was convinced that a bachelors degree from the University of Florida was the only option for me after high school. Now, as a 24 year old military wife with two fur babies and a half finished college degree, my vision couldn't be any different.

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For the past few years, I don't REALLY think I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life.. so I accepted whatever came my way and made the best of it. After nannying for a year or so, I started working at a dental office that I stayed at for nearly 4 years. As much as I grew in this position as a young adult, we all know that working an administrative job can cause you to become locked into the confines of business hours and vacation time; these factors, in my life personally, began to dictate the already limited time I had to spend with a hubby who is in and out the door constantly from work-ups, training and deployments. It would have been "easy" to do nothing and adjust accordingly.. that's what we're "supposed" to do, right? My heart wasn't satisfied, I felt like God wanted more for me, and I began to ponder last summer how I could potentially work for myself one day.

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In August of 2014, I found out about the opportunity to become a Team Beachbody Coach. I know now that I didn't fully recognize the potential of "coaching", but saw how entrepreneurship was literally changing the course of people's lives and decided I had nothing to lose. I began the process of owning my own business as a health and fitness coach, with absolutely no experience, but was fueled by the desire to improve my own life and the lives of others. I worked at the dental office during the day, and spent my evenings at home on my computer for several hours creating the beginnings of my organization. I lost out on some time with my hubby before he left for Africa in the fall, but maintained my LONG term vision for my life that was developing:: freedom. Freedom of time and resources. The desire to create a MOBILE business that would COMPLIMENT my life, rather than dictating how I live.

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After nine months of working both jobs through holidays, deployments, travel, etc., I was able to come HOME just last week to work MY business full time. Maybe it's a little bit of a risk coming home this soon before my income is considered to be significant, but real success REQUIRES a little risk and a lot of sacrifice. I am NO expert in owning/operating my own business. I learn something new, often though error, on a weekly or even daily basis. I'm willing to pick myself up through failures in order to create a life by my own design. A life that will allow Nate and I to one day be debt free. A life that will provide my husband the choice of whether or not he WANTS to finish his career in the Navy. A life that allows me to be present with my kids one day. A life that is CENTERED around giving back to God what is His and being a vessel of BLESSING for others.

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Less than a year into my business, I KNOW this is just the beginning for me. BUT, I already have so much to celebrate. Freedom looks a little different for everyone. For me TODAY freedom looks like being able to work on the go when you're traveling with your family to DC for a weekend away. It looks like being a (fur) mom that is able to do more with my little ones on a daily basis. It looks like paying off DEBT- a little bit at a time. It looks like being able to use our resources to bless a family member in need. Ultimately, at this EXACT moment in my life, freedom looks like being able to pick up my husband from deployment without having to stress about it being on a weekday that I would have to coordinate with work. It looks like spending time off to reconnect after 7 months and not stress about using vacation time, because I am in charge of MY schedule.

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You don't have to want to come home and quit your day job or career... You just have to want something, a job you don't dread walking into//avoiding a daily commute//endless opportunity for advancement or income//mobile business//the chance to be proud of what you do//an opportunity to change the lives of people around you, bad enough to work HARD and make sacrifices now for LONG term success.

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One of my deepest desires it to help people, men and women of various life circumstances, have the same opportunity or greater than I have had. I have been blessed to join a top TEN team ((out of 300,000+)) and have access to vital resources from incredible leaders. I would LOVE to share this with you, IF this business is the right fit for you and/or your family. This is a company with serious integrity that is empowering people like you and me accomplish BIG personal goals by crushing self-doubt and limitations. I am proud and honored to be a Beachbody coach. I am determined to serve others while honoring the Lord. And I am COMMITTED to creating a life by design for my family.

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To God be ALL the Glory!

An Open Letter to Myself Pre Homecoming Week

Okay, Lindsey... You've done this a couple of times before, learn from your mistakes. Create a home of love and hospitality. Don't stress and become anxious to the point you'll give yourself a cold sore... oh wait ;)

Your patience has paid off.. you have ONE more check mark on your 30 week count down! It's time for the final stretch.. and your favorite part:: LIST MAKING & ACCOMPLISHING!

So go and make sure your chores are complete::

1. Brazilian Wax

2. Stock Nate's favorite bourbon/beer and grab some cigars

3. Get the truck detailed

4. Clean house and pretend you kept it that way the whole time

5. Put his shampoo, soap, etc. back in the bathroom.. and make ROOM in the drawer by the sink.. you don't NEED every brush, hair tie, make up brush and lip stick in there.

6. Have a freshly mowed yard.. dudes dig that

7. Make a "honey do list" and DON'T HOLD BACK

(kitchen sink, side yard, fence repair, clean garage, master bath and dryer vent)

8. Fill fridge and pantry

9. Clean sheets on bed

Then, focus on your mental prep::

1. The towels in the linen closet do NOT have to be folded/facing the same way

2. Your life does not only revolve around your schedule

3. Practice sleeping on ONE side of the bed

4. The door should be closed when you're in the bathroom

5. Your new sleeping hours probably not his

6. You WILL have to start cooking meals again.. real meals.. like recipes with steps.. Quest bars are not dinner.

7. Be more flexible and willing to go with the flow

8. Shower more.. and act like you don't hate it

9. Remember that you're...... not...... always..... right..... and don't wince when you say it

But first, start praying daily for::

1. patience

2. peace

3. understanding

4. forgiveness

5. humility

6. an appreciative spirit

7. a heart of gratitude

8. gentleness

Try and remember that while you were busy living with your favorite roomie the past 7 months (yourself.. duh), the hubby had to share a converted storage cube with another person every night and a bathroom with countless other nasty dudes... and while he might have picked up some bad habits, he smiled through those circumstances almost every day!

Let the toilet seat up thing slide..  for a couple of days :) Let him choose where to go for dinner. Let him call some shots and welcome his ideas... Make him feel needed and that he is filling a hole he left behind... let him DO. Make him overflow with happiness to be home!

It's time to take a break from a part of yourself that you've become very proud of, but hate having to summon initially. Put away the tough shell and the "I don't need any help" attitude. Know your worth and appreciate your strengths, but lean on your spouse and share responsibility. He is SO innovative, helpful and generous.. REMIND him of that. Don't forget to say thank you and tell him when he's doing a great job. 

Remember how much you missed him during Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Valentines Day, St. Patrick's Day, President's Day, Cinco De Mayo and Memorial Day.. tell him often. Tell him you missed the way he HOGS the water in the shower..  and that you missed the way he waters the flowers when you forget to.. the way he leaves you little notes in the car or in the fridge.. that time he surprised you with a weekend away in DC.. how he researches and plans fun camping trips.. and indulges you on your silly ideas.. the way he wakes up early to let the dogs out on the weekends because he knows you can't fall back asleep.

Remember to unplug and spend focused time with your husband. Thank the Lord daily he came home to you and was excited about it (and while you're at it, pray for the families that didn't get a homecoming). Pray to have a willingness to be a submissive wife that trusts the direction of her husband. Seek GOOD counsel and spend your time with other's wisely. Be a Proverbs 31 woman.

Be a resource to others, rather than a reservoir of blessing.

Thank everyone that helped or even offered to while your better half was away- return the favor.

And stop eating chocolate and picking at your nails the next few days... You'll be glad next week that you took my advice.

Marriage: Happy or Holy ?

My Sunday morning life group is dedicated to the growth of married couples. It's been a place that I have been both humbled, inspired, challenged and grown.. both on a personal level as an individual & as a partner/wife in my marriage.

Joining the life group a few months ago, I caught myself thinking that I may not be challenged enough in an environment of nearly and newly-weds (because I have a *cough* whopping 4.5 years under my belt). I also caught myself thinking that maybe I shouldn't be going to a biblestudy for married couples when my husband was literally about to walk out the door for a seven month deployment... I mean, wasn't this for couples?

Let me answer this: no & no... definitely not.

I was quickly humbled as I was gently reminded that you never reach an ultimate destination in your marriage. You never reach a place of "happiness" where you are automatically graduated into a class of marriage experts. Our marriage is about a journey- INCLUDING the ups and downs. Our marriage is about HOLINESS. Happiness is a temporary state.. do we really want our marriages to be centered around a temporary state of emotion? I sure don't.. What a calling and challenge it is to view your marriage an opportunity to glorify the One who created you.. the One who brought the path of you and your spouse together. Now THAT is a purpose.

When we're at our best, our words, thoughts and actions should be glorifying the Lord. When we're at our worst, our words, thoughts and actions are a reflection of God's faithful love and forgiveness. Even during the difficult times, God is glorified when we seek Him through the process of being reconciled to one another. He can be glorified at all times.. the good, the bad and the ugly.

We strive for holiness not happiness when we begin to fulfill our God given roles in marriage. As we individually begin to act in obedient response to our biblical calling as a spouse, God is glorified and will bless your marriage beyond measure. Be the spouse you are commanded to be, not out of the expectation that your spouse will "fall in line," but rather that God will find favor on you as you honor Him with a holy heart. Even if you are a PERFECT partner in your marriage, but are doing it so that your spouse will feel obligated to do his or her own part, you STILL have some work to do on your heart, my friend.

A couple of weeks ago, my life group was studying our biblical responsibilities through the text of Ephesians 5:22-27.

"22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless."

 Boy do people freak out when they read the words "submit" and "head of" in Ephesians; I can admit that I myself have harbored negative feelings towards this text in the past.

I realized though through the study of these verses that the challenging call here is to husbands.. Submission may seem like quite the daunting task, but God ordained leadership is a HEAVY responsibility. Let me share with you some of the notes I took from my class that day that really spoke to my spirit.

Let's first define these two concepts by their synonyms given by merriam-webster:

submission: yielding, surrender, resignation, defeat, subjection, compliance

gosh.. no wonder it seems terrible!.. we'll come back to this.

leadership: control, management, supervision, supremacy, power

Okay, so reading these and making application to the verses above is ROUGH. If that's what Godly marriage is all about, who would want it? Fortunately, merriam webster doesn't define our marital roles.. God does. And when we think about how He compares the dynamic between a husband and wife to Christ and the church, it is clear that there is another definition of our roles.

Let's re-define these two concepts by their synonyms given by God through-out scripture:

Godly submission: humility, meekness, obedience, trust, acceptance, yielding

Godly leadership: guidance, teaching, gentle instruction, responsibility, initiative, accountability, SERVICE.

Did I just use service as a synonym of leadership? I sure did. God commands those in leadership to serve others rather than reign over them.

Mark 10:42-45

42 Jesus called them together and said, “You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them.43 Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 44 and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. 45 For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

This is a beautiful picture when both husband and wife are acting according to God's will in marriage.

You might be thinking to yourself: well, I am a believer, but my spouse is not.. am I still supposed to submit to his leadership? Yes. Although it will not be easy, live our your calling as a Godly spouse and let God take care of the rest. It is not our job to change the heart of others. It is our job to display the love of Christ through our actions. Trust in God's sovereignty and place the heart of your spouse to the Lord.

Here are my thoughts on this text:

Christ manifested His love for us by sacrificing Himself. He led by example and through service. He was a humbled teacher and rebuked those who were wrong gently. Christ made Himself accountable for our sins as a way to reconcile us to God. Christ lead in a way that others submitted to Him willingly and not out of obligation or coercion. Husbands are ultimately responsible to "cleanse her with the knowledge of the Word."  As a godly husband and follower of Christ, if your wife is not submitting to your leadership, you are not loving her properly. Start with loving service and you will earn a leadership role in her heart.

The church submits to the Lord out of love and affection. We, the church, submit though trust, service, and respect.  Submission is hard under improper leadership, but it is our calling. Ask God to give you a heart of submission. Godly wives: trust your husband, support him and treat him with respect.

Regularly evaluate if you marriage is "measuring up" to the model of Christ and the church.

Righteousness > Being Right

Don't submit for leadership..

Don't lead for submission..

Act in obedience and glorify the Lord. Living this way provides a life of purpose.

Seek holiness in your marriage. You'll be amazed to see that happiness will follow you in your journey.

Blessings, Lindsey