Grace Upon Grace

This has been the mantra of my heart the past 10ish days of traveling, preparing for travel, family, preparing for family, etc.

Grace Upon Grace.

I can't do it all sometimes.

And I can't take that personally.

I have to stick to the things I do no matter what to honor my priorities & let the rest go occasionally.

This past week + I haven't been the best coach/social media encouragement/mentor/etc. I just have to own it, give myself Grace & continue moving toward. No guilt. Not getting stuck on it. I'm trucking along👌

I'm calling myself out here for the accountability I need, but also as a great reminder for other women out there.

STOP carrying guilt when you have a few days of having to let "extras" go.. It happens. Just don't stay there. Call yourself out. Receive Grace from yourself. And keep on keeping on.

I'm back, y'all 💕

#GracefullyBalanced #HealthyLiving #MindBodySpirit

Love Fights Fair: Notes from the Love Dare

I've been SLOWLY working thru the Love Dare since the start of December, and by slowly I mean one chapter every couple of days.

It's been such a humbling experience that's challenged me by uncovering so many of my prideful and selfish downfalls as a woman and wife, when I originally planned to use this as a tool to fix Nate and I as a couple. (HA)

Each chapter (day) discusses a topic about what love IS.. actively. Love is a verb. It's a choice we make in marriage every day.

Oh man.. I could go off on a tangent here about the excuse people use for ending a marriage because they simply fall in and out of love. The truth is, we DO. We are imperfect people, loving imperfect people. If love is simply based on circumstantial emotion, feeling and opinions then you better BELIEVE your feelings of love will fluctuate. But we can't choose to start OR end a marriage based on that alone. It's like building a house on a foundation of sand!

This is what sets God's solid institution of marriage apart. We are imperfect people, loving each other through our faults and imperfections to ultimately glorify God. Marriage REFINES us as individuals, putting us in sometimes HOT, fiery places that can make us BETTER if we seek Him though it. We will stand firm and come out stronger, because we started with a proper foundation.

A loving marriage can last a lifetime if you CHOOSE to love unconditionally. Guard your heart. Base your love on commitment for life, rather than fleeting feelings. If YOU pursue a true agape love (the Love of Christ) towards your spouse, then phileo and eros love (that of friendship and sexuality) will follow!

I digress :) Back to my journal notes from today's dare about fighting fair..

If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand. Mark 3:25

Love reminds us that our marriage is too valuable to let it self destruct. And that our love for our spouse is more important than whatever you're fighting about.

Love PROTECTS our "one-ness." It reminds you that conflict can actually be turned around for good and result in greater unity- not less.

Fight clean. Establish rules of engagement as a way of protecting each other.

There are two types of boundaries: WE and ME

We: rules you BOTH agree on that apply to any fight. Each has the right to enforce if broken.

example: NEVER mention the word divorce. Avoid bringing up past resolved issues.  No fighting in public or in front of children. Call a "time out" if escalating to a damaging level. NEVER touch each other in a harmful way. Don't go to bed angry. Agree that FAILURE is NEVER an option.

Me: rules of personal practice.

example:

I will listen before I speak

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. James 1:9

I will deal with my own issues up front and apologize first if needed

Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? Matthew 7:3

I will speak gently and keep my voice down, lacing speech with love

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

Fighting FAIR means changing our weapons, disagreeing with dignity & building bridges instead of burning them down.

LOVE itself is not a fight, but it's always worth fighting for!

Be challenged to discuss healthy rules of engagement with your spouse and resolve to abide by them. If your spouse if not ready, you must still do this yourself.

Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Romans 12:16

I hope this speaks to your heart, like it did mine.

Transformation Tuesday: A Picture of Surrender

I get a little emotional looking at these photos that were both taken RIGHT before our 2nd and 3rd deployments. I changed so much between these two distinct times in my life- as a woman and a wife.

Let me take you back to November of 2012, to the photo on the left. I was barely 22, Nate was newly 30. We had been married a little over two years and had spent probably close to 11+ months of it apart. I was working in a position that was I wasn't passionate about, felt like I had no clue about what I would do with my life long-term, was TOTALLY insecure about my body that was about 20 pounds heavier than it is now, frustrated in my marriage because of our inconsistencies in communication/arguments about family, stressed about finances & really just didn't feel like myself. There, OF COURSE, were lots of happy moments sprinkled in here and there, but it was certainly a time during which I felt very insecure. I can tell you for certain that the majority of our issues came from a lack of surrender to the Lord and poor priorities.

Flash forward to November of 2014. I'm 24, Nate is 32. We're married a little over 4 years and still by no means marital experts. By GOD was working in our lives.. both together and separately. We were involved in our church, we were making steps towards healthier relationships, we established boundaries with our families, we had clear financial vision for our future, I found one of my PASSIONS by joining Beachbody, I created a healthy lifestyle and got my sexy back losing 3 pant sizes, I felt more confident intimately with my husband-- I felt renewed. We still weren't communication experts, in fact we had a small argument on the way to take those photos (HA- keeping it real),  BUT we were LEARNING how to resolve things quickly and that pursuing peace was better than being right.

Each year, we face new challenges.. I'm actually writing this blog now as a BALL of stress while having to remind myself to trust in the Lord's faithfulness. And each year, we have more triumphs. Our marriage is such a joy in my life- it CHALLENGES me to be a kinder person, a more forgiving partner, a stronger woman, a more compassionate friend, an increasingly faithful christian.. always learning, growing and changing. 

My #transformationtuesday isn't because of anything Nate or I were able to do solely on our own. It's because we finally trusted Jesus with our wants, needs and desires. We submitted to His will and surrendered ourselves to be used according to His purpose. 

You will find the most beautiful transformation when you ask Jesus to lead you.

"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." Matthew 6:33

Broken Bread and Poured Out Wine: a life of sacrifice and stewardship

During my quite time of devotion and biblestudy, I have felt the Lord speaking to me overwhelmingly on my life being a reflection of "broken bread and poured out wine."

It seems that no matter what the subject of my study is lately, it all comes back to this concept. So what does broken bread and poured out wine even mean? ...

One of the most celebrated observances in the history of Christian faith is called "Passover." During the Passover, Christians were to partake a meal, not simply out of ceremonial obligation or religious recognition, but out of a desire to acknowledge the ultimate sacrifice of our Savior.

In Matthew 26 or Mark 14, you can read that Jesus actually partook in this meal with His disciples the night of His betrayal, leading ultimately to His death on the cross as documented in scripture. During New Testament times, the Passover commemorated the death of Jesus Christ as a sacrifice and atonement for our sins. The meal consisted of broken bread and poured out wine; these two elements represented Jesus' broken body and His life blood offering as a new covenant.

During Old Testament times, before the coming of Jesus, Christians had to regularly make living sacrifices with their finest live stock as an atonement for their sins [Exodus 12, along with other references]. These sacrificial animals, seen as something being without blemish, were put to death as a offering to the Lord because of sin-filled lives.

When God decided to send Jesus, he sent Him into the world as a perfect lamb.. a blemish-free sacrifice that would take on ALL of the disgusting, shameful sins of men- past, present and future. By Jesus being broken and poured out before the father, He essentially paid the ultimate price that would cleanse us from our sins so we could be reconciled into relationship with our perfect heavenly Father.  A free relationship providing an eternal life of forgiveness and love for ALL who chose to accept it. That was it.. His one-time sacrifice became a new covenant.

Wow, right?

His Body like broken bread for us.

His blood like poured out wine.

Out of no selfish motive. With no cost of repayment. With no strings attached. With no risk of loss. 

Eternal life. That simple. Because Jesus, sent to earth as a man and yet still fully God, was sacrificed on our behalf.. willingly.

This blows my mind. Do we sacrifice anything in our life without an expectation of return? Without strings attached or any selfish/ulterior motives? No. Because we are not perfect. We might be good people, but our hearts are flawed and tainted by sin.

Even though I have requested and accepted God's forgiveness of my short comings and have entered into the development of a personal relationship with my heavenly father, I do NOT always live in reflection of this on a daily basis.

Not our of choice, but imperfect human nature. If I lived a perfect life, what would my need for Jesus be? But boy do I need Jesus. Because of my relationship with Him, I know that my soul will spend eternity in the glorious presence of the Lord.

My job as a Christian though is the concept of "paying it forward" on earth. Using my life as a living sacrifice that bring honor to the one who saved me. To use my daily breath and actions as broken bread and poured out wine to serve God's purpose..

The life I am living is no longer my own.. Although it truly never was mine, it is now surrendered willingly to Him. God allows me to be a steward of the life He has given me to live.. a GOOD steward. Stewardship is the concept of caring for the property of another. Caring for my body, my mind, my spirit.

If God truly is the master and creator of all, then He "owns" so much more than our bodies and has ultimately given us ALL of our blessings. You may work hard for your successes, but you would have never been placed in your current circumstances (body, marriage, etc) if God didn't allow it. Therefore, delight in what He has given you stewardship over, but remember to honor Him through all aspects of your life.

Life your life as broken bread and poured out wine. Make a regular effort to reflect selflessness and submission. Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good and His love for you will endure FOREVER.

More to come later, but let this simmer..

In love and humility,

Linz

[[for more on the passover symbols of bread and wine, check out this link. great read!]]