Things I Didn't Know Before: Life with a Newborn

You anticipate for what feels like days & months on end.

You do absolutely everything you can to prepare - to the point of seriously running out of a to do list.

You soak up each moment with your spouse, but you've both never been so ready for the next chapter.

You know life as you know it will soon change forever.

But you're dying to meet that baby.

Then, in an instant (well, labor surely isn't an instant.. but that moment RIGHT before the doctor hands you the baby & you lift your eyes to look) EVERYTHING changes.

Welcome to parenthood.

But more specifically, welcome to life with a newborn.

The next couple of months are going to be like nothing

you could have ever fully imagined.

You'll laugh.

You'll cry.

You'll laugh & cry.

You'll feel in love.

You'll feel delusional.

You'll feel clueless.

You'll feel elated.

You'll feel sadness.

You'll feel, well, everything.

And sometimes, you won't even know WHAT you're feeling.

..in a day. HA!

That's because this season of life is ALL consuming.

Of mind, body & spirit.

It's like the hardest test or training you'll ever endure.. at least it is, as far as I've come!

Growing a human was intense.

And pretty darn amazing.

But raising that human & keeping them alive.

Now THAT'S some work!!

So whether you've been there done that.

Or it's coming up soon..

I hope you can read this & laugh a little.

Remember what you freaking survived.

Or catch a glimpse of what you're gearing up for.

It's time to talk about:

Things I Didn't know Before.. Life with a NEWBORN

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Welcome to being a ROOKIE!

You'd think that I wouldn't have felt so clueless since I was a nanny for YEARS, have two little sisters & read a ton of books, right?

..WRONG.

*moms around the world reading this laugh in my virtual face.. HA*

Never in my life have I felt more like a rookie than when I was handed my sweet little bundle & was left to figure out how to keep her alive, breast feed & somehow take care of myself.

What's more..

The feeling of "S*** just got REAL" when you leave the hospital & walk in your front door with an infant car seat is almost enough to make you laugh & cry.

How can I explain it..

It's like that thought when had you brought a puppy home & listened to it cry (more like WAIL) the whole first night.. except times a million.

Just me with our pointer, Tannyn?

Okay - I'm only part serious.

Take heart though!

It really IS amazing - because you DO figure it out!

.. and seriously don't feel bad for feeling like a clueless, guessing chump wether it's your first kid or not (I mean seriously - EVERY child is different!).

Let me STOP you now so you can add something to your mile long to do list!

If you've never watched the show "Life in Pieces," imma need you to go find episode 1 & wait for the short segment on new parents Greg & Jenn. Jenn is seriously my spirit animal & basically EVERYTHING they go through the whole first season is true as a first time parent.

Prepare to laugh your booty off.

You've never googled like this before..

You MIGHT be a new parent if in the same day you google normal sleep noises of babies, tips on removing poop stains from your bedding & what to do with raw or bloody nipples. You also might be a new parent if you pop over to youtube for some techniques on infant fart freeing or baby burrito wrapping tutorials.

The google machine is both a blessing & a curse - but mostly a blessing.

And let me just say.. our parents are the real MVPs for raising babies without probably HALF or more of what we have these days!! Talk about taking a shot in the dark every day.

Honestly, SO much of newborn parenting is guess work + intuition anyways, but having the internet to validate your feelings or at least not feel so alone is incredibly valuable.

Holy night sweats, batman.

Fortunately, I wasn't shocked by this because I had a friend who warned me. But I still remember our first night in the hospital, waking up with INSANE sweat all over my body. I had gone to sleep cold just a few hours before, but woke up later feeling like I IMMEDIATELY needed every piece of clothing off my body!

My night sweats continued for only another week or so, then disappeared. However, that crazy hormone change you go through in the "fourth trimester" definitely makes you generally WARMER than you were before.

You've never wished for gas so hard.

During those first few weeks of life, your sweet babe is going through some MAJOR adjustments & changes (okay.. this never really stops BUT this part is a big deal!).

I feel like aside from working through some intense reflux for several weeks, the HARDEST thing with Rae was the newborn gas!

Their poor little digestive systems are so immature & are trying to digest the milk we're giving them. You take for granted as an adult the ability to let it rip. But those poor little babes will squirm, kick & cry their hardest when those bubbles are trapped.

We wished & PRAYED for that gas to pass.

We tried drops.

We tried massages.

We tried leg pumps/circles.

We tried the windi sticks (which Nate went to 3 stores for at 10pm).

We tried the thermometer technique.

.. we were DESPERATE to figure out how to provide relief.

That is the worst feeling as a parent.

Not being able to help your child.

But like everything else, it eventually passes.. literally. HA!

Hang in there!!

Near narcolepsy?

In my years PB (pre-baby), I wasn't a napper.

I mean - during my first trimester of pregnancy, I most DEFINITELY was.

But typically, I just have never been a big sleeper!

Even falling asleep when being tired was an issue for me at times.

I remember wondering if I'd be able to catch up on sleep occasionally by taking naps after Reagan arrived.

If you're like me - have NO fear.

It's like God gave me this incredible ability for the first month or so to fall asleep INSTANTLY when I got horizontal or closed my eyes.

I'm not even kidding.

SO. FAST.

This trick comes in HANDY when you are trying to squeeze in Z's to break your record of 2 hours at a time.

I think this is probably the closest you ever get to experiencing narcolepsy.. 

It's amazing what you can do half asleep!

Speaking of "sleep."

It's seriously incredible what you can do when you're half asleep from constant exhaustion & living in your new zombie state of existence.

Literally.. all the things.

Feeding.

Eating.

Pumping.

Changing diapers.

Changing clothes.

Rocking.

Washing bottles.

Showering.

..you name it.

Just be careful because ALTHOUGH you're miraculously getting things done, you might accidentally put socks in your refrigerator or body soap in your hair (& forget to rinse it.. true story).

What's a full or warm meal anyways?

Remember when you used to pick up a warm plate & watch the steam come off it in front of you. You'd occasionally even burn your tongue because you weren't patient enough to blow on it..

Well, your taste buds are pretty much safe for the next 3 months because warm meals are a thing of the past - full meals are too, unless you have prepared something in advance or go & pick one up.

Contrary to popular belief, it is PERFECTLY acceptable in the fourth trimester to consider trail mix a balanced meal. Also, a spoonful of Ben & Jerry's each night to lift your dampened yet joy-filled spirit is also okay for at least the first 6 weeks..

Make the switch to cold coffee.

Remember that last blurb about hot food?

Yep, the same applies to your coffee - which is likely decaf or in half doses now if you're breastfeeding anyways.

I'm going to go ahead & save you about 20 trips to the microwave.. a day.

While there's just nothing like a warm cup o joe when you're exhausted & needing a pick me up, you might wanna make the switch for a few months to a delicious cold brew.

Or maybe save that nice, hot mug for the weekends when you & the baby daddy are home together & you've got some extra hands around!

"Sleep when the baby sleeps".. so they say.

I can't tell you how many times I've heard this - but I think I maybe took a nap twice when Rae slept.. like EVER.

Sure, sleep is SO important.

But in those teeny windows of dual hand/mental freedom, you have a choice..

1) Close your eyes and CRASH

2) Try to knock out basic tasks like dishes, laundry or tidying up

3) General self care like a shower or you know.. eating

Usually, one of the latter options won out.

I just couldn't handle feeling like I was swamped & behind in my household - but I also needed the sanity & nourishment of basic self care.

So naps were scarce for us - but you better BELIEVE we learned to cut out nighttime netflix & started to go to bed EARLY.

Because you also just NEVER know those first several weeks what nighttime will bring; whether you'll get a 2-3 or 4-5 hour stretch of sleep.. OR if the baby will somehow know the INSTANT your head hits the pillow & wake up to "rage" for the next 3 hours.

You will sleep when the baby sleeps - at night - in a few weeks.

It'll come!

Witching Hours

*I actually edited this blog post to add this part in. Mom brain is real & so is the newborn life amnesia, because this was a SIGNIFICANT piece of our first two months with Raegan that I WISH I had been more "prepared" for.*

I had literally NEVER heard of this term until after Rae was born. I posted on Facebook that we were having the same, ROUGH few hours every single night & got several responses telling me it was probably some variation of something people call a baby's witching hours.

A HUGE huge part of this was the reflux our poor, sweet girl fought for WEEKS. But MAN, those 3-5 hours every night were so brutal, y'all.

I remember when she would start to get fussy around dinner time & our stomachs would sink, anticipating what was possibly.. and likely coming.

Rocking, bouncing, singing, rubs, baths, talking, swaying, praying - we tried everything. And it took every ounce of our mental & emotional energy each night to make it through. But we did - we made it through as a TEAM.

Lean in to each other! Try not to lose it on your partner when you're at your whits end. It's going to be okay. Take deep breaths. Cry if you need to. Hold that baby tight. Step away & trade off as needed. You're not alone..

A day isn't complete until you're wearing bodily fluids.

In the early days, this applies to everyone in the household..

errrbody's fair game!

Later on this seems to only be a daily mom "perk."

Because somehow, Nate always gets SO lucky & misses those moments.

I remember in my first week or two of breastfeeding, shooting myself, Nate & Raegan in the face with milk one sleepy night when we were working on a latch improvement technique.

It was actually kind of hilarious.

Breast milk (from unexpected or torrential let downs) & spit up will be like your motherhood war paint. Don't fight it.

So stick to nursing bras/tanks & your cute but COMFY lounge wear that you're not super attached to for a while.

OH - and huge tip!

Don't just pack extra clothes for baby in your car or diaper bag. Definitely pack at least an extra top for yourself in each bag/car. You seriously NEVER know when you're going to need it!

Get comfy in the back seat of your car!

Can I just say that I NEVER realized how much time I'd spend in the back seat of our vehicles with a newborn?!

I'm not even kidding - like an HOUR at a time!

I'm guessing it's not quite as long if you aren't breastfeeding, but nonetheless it's a chunk of time.

Yes - I know some of you are picking up your jaw or shaking your head - It took me every bit of an HOUR to nurse + burp Rae on both sides with a diaper change in between. I'm aware that's not ideal, but that's what we did for MONTHS.

So put some water bottles, snacks & sun shades in the back seat.

Make sure you're filled up on gas too..

And if you really wanna get crazy - toss your nursing pillow in the car when you know you're going to be out for a while!

The quickest showers of your life.

Motherhood is the catalyst for a new level of efficiency.

You'll forget everything because #MomBrain, BUT you're multitasking abilities & overall SPEED is about to sky rocket.

Let's talk about the shower..

It's been what feels like 12 days, but is "only" 4, since your last shower..

You feel RACHET & are itching for just a few minutes to RELAX & enjoy warm water against your skin.

You know you're only going to stay clean for about 30 seconds after your shower exit, but you don't care. It's going to change your LIFE for 30 seconds & renew your soul!

So you hop in..

And 30 seconds later, you hear crying.

You pick up speed.

You try to relax, but you hear your husband outside the door shushing the baby.

You know it's a matter of time.

You just need to wash your hair real quick.

Is there time?

Sure there is.. you'll be fast.

You lather up.. finish rinsing off your body & step out.

You go to dry your hair..

CRAP, you forgot to rinse it.

Wait a sec - what did I put in my hair.

Did I ever grab the shampoo bottle?

You realize you used body soap on your hair.

Whatever.. you rinse & get out.

You go to dry your legs.

CRAP, you only shaved one leg.

Whatever.. your baby is losing it & your husband is hinting to see when you're going to be done.

You look at the clock & somehow you only spend 4.5 minutes in the shower attempting a full groom & mental rejuvenation.

Gosh - you're good.

A walking disaster, but good!

Beware of middle of the night feeds shopping.

What's a girl to do when you're up every 2-4 hours in the middle of the night for an hour at a time & trying your hardest to stay awake.

Well - you could FB scroll - nah..

You could try to watch something on the food network - the noise is too risky!

Or, you could just peek instead at one of your favorite stores.. like target.

Or maybe check out amazon - I'm SURE you need a quick prime fix.

OR you could just check some deal sites like JANE or groopdealz to see if there's anything sweet for the baby. It doesn't count as crazy spending if it's "for the baby.." right?

Might be a good idea not to have your wallet close to the bedroom for a bit..

That way you can fill your cart at night - then think about it during the day for a bit to decide if you still need 2 more teethers & another crinkling animal book.

Don't.Look.Down.There.

All I'm going to say is to listen to your midwife or OB when they tell you to let the "area" HEAL for at least 6 weeks.

I made the mistake of peeking around week 3 - not just out of curiosity, but I could tell something was off (I have pelvic floor damage that I had PT for). Generally speaking though, there's NO reason to look early unless you're wanting to be in shock at the aftermath of the miracle your body just performed.

You HAVE to remember - you just went through something MAJOR.

Totally natural, yes, but major nonetheless. 

You must give yourself time to recover.

Our bodies are incredible & they WILL bounce back - but it's going to take longer than you think.

So just.. don't look down there for a while.

And maybe have hubby switch the "you can look but you can't touch" mentality for a couple of months until you're feeling more like yourself!

That's right - don't avoid the touching, mama!!

You need to stay connected to your dude.

But yeah - eyes up HERE.

Write down the milestones because you will NOT remember them.

Write everything down.

Because your best intention of remembering is just not good enough.

You'll think you figured out a way to lock it away in what used to be your steel trap, but a few weeks later you will be completely blank over the matter!

So even if it's on sticky notes on the top of your baby book or even slapped on the fridge temporarily - document them now so you can copy it later into whatever keepsake you've chosen.

You might get a smidgen jealous & really miss your man!

Jealous?

Of the baby?

Hear me out..

You absolutely LOVE the way your man looks at that baby - the way he loves & cares for both of y'all makes you hot & weepy all at once.

But having to start sharing your best friend & other half is NOT an easy adjustment for some, like myself.

I remember watching Nate & Rae together - thinking that they were the cutest duo I had ever seen.

But I also remember thinking - does he notice me anymore? Do I captivate him in the same way? When am I going to get alone time with him??

Gosh I hope I'm encouraging someone else out there.

YES - I think it's perfectly normal to get a little jealous.

Your PERSON is starting to share mental/emotional space + their precious TIME with your sweet little bundle.

You're so glad about it & wouldn't have it any other way, but you're also a bit envious.

Just hang in there - let them bond.

I promise you'll find you rhythm again soon if you make a consistent effort!!!

Do NOT feel guilty for having ALL the feels.

Girl, your body is on a roller coaster ride of a life time as your hormones change, your body is adjusting, your emotions are sky rocketing & your mind is trying to function despite exhaustion.

Sometimes you might feel like you're losing it or crazy from going from being overjoyed to sobbing in minutes.. or even for feeling both at the same time.

It's normal

BUT keep an eye on yourself & make sure you're talking to your partner or a friend and being HONEST about how you feel! Because..

Baby blues are r e a l.

PPD, PTSD, anxiety & baby blues.

They are ALL real & every women is susceptible.

I actually was a little skeptical before having Reagan of whether or not the baby blues were really as intense as some had told me they were.

But a couple of days after coming home - for a couple of WEEKS after having Rae - I would catch myself absolutely SOBBING & feeling down for "no reason." I say no reason with that virtual tone because although I couldn't explain why I felt the way I did, it's no surprise you feel like you're about to break with everything you're trying to process/learn/recover from in a short time.

I still, nearly 10 months postpartum, even deal with extreme anxiety on a daily basis - doing my very best to conceal it from people around me to avoid judgment or skepticism. It flares up with things having to do with Reagan (that you'd probably expect) like leaving her, trusting her with others, safety, driving, exposure to illness, medical decisions, something happening to us - but also down to the SMALLEST daily things (that you may not expect) like feeding, interaction with our dogs or even sleep. 

I know now, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that it doesn't matter how strong you feel like you are or how amazing your support system is. None of us are "beyond" being susceptible to dealing with one or more of these conditions.

Please be sure to reach out to someone if you need to talk!

Get yourself a postpartum buddy

Speaking of support - it is SO important to have.

So you KNOW you've got the option to confide in someone when you need it.

Find a friend you can text at the most random time (hello, nighttime nursing hours) who is either in the trenches with you or has gone through the same season of life recently.

Being able to talk, ask questions, bounce ideas off another brain or even vent is more therapeutic than you realize. Empathy & a listening ear is everything!

Your dear friends who haven't gone through life with a newborn are so special & you do need them.. BUT, when you barely have time to talk & it's pretty much always about your life in the trenches - there's just nothing like having a postpartum buddy!

Shout out to the girls who got me through - my sister Lauren, Kinsey, Ali, Brittany & Uli. Love y'all!

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That's all for today!

Writing this post flooded my heart & mind with so many memories and feelings from the hardest season of my life. A season that made Nate & I so much stronger as a couple. A season that taught us sacrificial love. A season that started a bond with our little girl that words cannot describe.

 Life with a newborn is certainly a wild ride - but I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat for the love I've found as a mother!

If you missed my first post in my "Things I Didn't Know Before" series, click here! If you have a suggestion for my next post - be sure to drop it in the comments.

Until next time..

Thanks for reading,

Things I Didn't Know Before: Pregnancy

Welcome to our FIRST "Things I Didn't Know BEFORE" blog post.

Today's topic is pregnancy.

Please know before you continue reading that this was a joint effort - from myself & my readers// followers. It was not created for any other reason than comic relief, solidarity & a smidge of empowerment + awareness.

Due to the nature of this post, I'd like to say to all of my dear friends who are TTC, healing from loss or battling infertility - I'm PRAYING for you. Remember, God is faithful. He will complete your family in His perfect way & in His perfect timing.

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Ahhhhh pregnancy.

A surprise to some.

The emotional or physical sporting event of a lifetime for others.

The moment you pee on that stick & see those double lines, plus sign or that POWERFUL 8 letter word.. life, as you know it, changes forever.

And so begins the adventure that will change your mind, body & heart in ways you quite literally NEVER imagined possible.

I was one of those some might call obnoxious who absolutely LOVED being pregnant.

My husband & I tried very HARD for a baby, lost our first in miscarriage (read about that here) & then conceived again after with our now miracle baby who is 6 months old & prepping for college as I type this.

I savored it ALL.

I rubbed my belly CONSTANTLY.

I blogged WEEKLY after I made it through the first trimester.

I made the infamous weekly photos with the baby's fruit size equivalent.

Aside from some intense nausea + puking the first several weeks, I had a seemingly "easy" & uneventful pregnancy, physically.

Emotionally & mentally, there's a battle that lingers for EVERY mother who has ever lost a pregnancy. But that's another post for another time.

Today's post is to chat about ALL the things I didn't know before.

Isn't it funny - we do our research on HOW to get pregnant.

We prepare on HOW to give birth.

But what about those months in between?

Well, I've learned that NO amount of reading quite prepares you for pregnancy.

Because, it's the season of life in which ANYTHING goes.

Abnormal hair growth?

"oh that happened to me too.."

pregnancy.

Crying during a laundry detergent commercial?

Yep.

pregnancy.

Vomitting triggered by the stench of stuff you actually like?

ahhhhh..

sweet pregnancy.

No doubt - we all have our stories.

Each one unique to mommas & their babies.

Some utterly difficult & some "rainbows & butterflies."

At the end of the day, we were all so privileged to carry our children.

And they are ALL sweet miracles.

But here's the nitty gritty.. hilarious.. embarrassing.. TRUTH

The things we DIDN'T know before

PREGNANCY.

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1. fatigue

Carrying a baby the size of an apple seed doesn't seem like it would require much effort, right?

WRONG.

It's AMAZING how something so small could have such a HUGE effect on your body & your mind in this way.

But when you think about it - your body is growing, nurturing & helping develop a tiny HUMAN. Girl, your body is WERKING.

So be prepared to be tired.

Initially it'll likely be 24/7 in the first trimester that you feel this inexplicable tiredness. I remember the first several weeks of my pregnancies, falling asleep ANYTIME I got in a horizontal position. Maybe even just reclined.. Whether that was at 6:30pm in bed or 10am on the floor next to the dogs - mama was OUT. Comfort, blanket & a bed were totally UNNECESSARY for sleep.

Later on in pregnancy, it'll get better.

You might even get a "surge" of energy!

Then, that all too familiar feeling comes back towards the end. But fortunately at that point you're either so large & uncomfortable or your baby is so big & won't stop moving that you can't sleep it off if you wanted to.. you're not missing out! 

People poke fun & say things like "Oh, you think you're tired now. Just wait until the baby is born." And while there's some truth in that annoying statement - the pregnancy fatigue is most definitely real. I think the fatigue we experience in pregnancy is God's way of easing us in & preparing us for the first couple of months with a newborn.

Hang in there, mama.

You'll sleep again one day!

2. heart burn

And you thought only dragons breathed fire.

Nope to the nope.

There's no other way to describe pregnancy heartburn than with that analogy.

What's weird-er.. pretend that's a word..is the fact that the triggers are totally RANDOM & change often.

Peanut butter?

Yogurt?

Eggs?

Water?

Air?

The stuff you probably ate all the time before without issue..

It's so odd, y'all.

I remember wanting so badly to avoid medication during pregnancy - I tried EVERY natural remedy in the book for heartburn. Unfortunately, none of them worked consistently. So I caved around month 8 when it got out of control & tried tums. Turns out that tums don't really work either. Should've never caved.

Fortunately, my heartburn came in waves for the majority of my pregnancy. Only the final 6 weeks seemed more constant or really intensified during sleep.

Found a natural remedy that worked for you though?

Better drop it in the comments!

3. not all rainbows and butterflies

So my pregnancy was WONDERFUL. Aside from a rough first trimester, the anxiety from experiencing a miscarriage previously & the normal difficulties throughout, my experience was without extreme issue. I loved my bump & can't wait to do it all over again one day.

That being SAID..

This is NOT everyone's experience.

I think it's important to have appropriate expectations - to remember what your body is going through & what it's accomplishing over the course of these 40 weeks. Mindset really matters. And embracing the process. It's not going to be easy or comfortable, but it can still be wonderful!!

But, for a "lucky few" - it doesn't matter what they do or believe. Pregnancy is simply brutal on their bodies. Nausea & vomitting from day 1 to delivery is the reality for some women, my poor older sister included.

So, if you're having the rainbows & butterflies experience - cherish it.

And if you know a friend who is.. NOT.. take her a meal, buy her a pedicure certificate & send some encouragement her way!

4. pee

HoMyGah.

Forget trying to snag a great view - you're picking seats now for BATHROOM proximity.

Oh & your favorite side of the bed? You better make sure it's closest to the toilet. Because you're going to have to pee ALL the time & with progressively less notice as that precious bean of yours decides to kick or POUND on your bladder.

Embrace the 10 bathroom breaks at night - find some reading to help you get back to sleep each time. Better yet, practice any birthing visualizations, relaxation techniques or breathing to get sleepy again.

And maybe - just maybe - grab a panty liner for back up.

If not for accidental pee leakage, then for the insane amounts of *I'm so sorry but I'm going THERE* discharge you might be noticing in your britches.

5. nipples

You thought I was going to talk about sensitivity, right?

While that is SO true & you might just swat your fella for even having the THOUGHT of touching your boobs - I'm talking about another boob topic here.

The millions of ways our bodies prepare for birth & the care of our baby (specifically feeding) is nothing shy of incredible. But MAN, some - errr many - of these changes are NOT sexy.

Obviously your boobs are going to change as they prepare to feed, right?

^^This is to be continued^^

But your NIPPLES?

And your areolas??

Oh yes.

Prepare for your world to be rocked.

And take comfort knowing it's NOT just happening to YOU.

Blogs are for over sharing, right?

I can't believe I'm getting this personal.

But here we go..

I remember at one point during pregnancy Nate started referring to my areola/nipple region as pepperonis. And not the little ones you put on pizza either. "You know, the deli sliced size."

I DIED the first time he made that joke.

Why?

Because it was SO true.

Think DARK & the size of saucers!

But you know what's AWESOME??

Your body does this so your newborn can easily find your breasts to latch!

#AMAZING

And.. they go back to "normal," believe it or not.

6. oozing

Let's continue with a variation of our last topic, shall we?

As you near the end of pregnancy, be prepared for some oozing or other forms of "leakage." Sexy, right? Haha

I promise you're not falling apart.

It's yet another sign of preparation for feeding that baby.

(kind of amazing though when you think about it..)

You guessed it,

You will PROBABLY leak colostrum.

And it MIGHT happen much much sooner than you'd expect.

So if you find wet spots on your shirt/bra or see little droplets when you're changing or getting out of the shower - don't be alarmed.

While you probably won't need any breast pads for protection, you might need to make sure you bra up as a barrier the last couple of months.

7. stranger danger

While this is an important topic of mental + physical preparation for ALL mamas-to-be, it is ESPECIALLY pertinent for the expecting introvert.

When you're pregnant, you will become a MAGNET for people's eyes, conversations & HANDS.

More on that last part later..

Be prepared to deal with & work through that stranger danger.

Because the rest of the world thinks that pregnant women know no strangers.

But this pregnant woman begged to differ.

Either put on your blinders & become a speed walking ninja everywhere you go (better yet, wear earbuds ALL the time) or prep a few short key responses.

Just know, it's coming.

#bringontheanxietymeds

8. advice

I'm pretty sure that people love talking about nothing more than their own experience with pregnant women.

I mean, heck.. I'm writing this friggin blog post, right!?

Not quite the same since you're choosing to read it.

BUT advice - you know, the unsolicited, don't care or did NOT need to know kind - is abundant, my dear.

Don't be afraid to tune people out or say "thanks, but no thanks" while you're mentally preparing for birth or parenthood.

It's A-OK to filter what you're taking in, as an effort to master + maintain a positive mindset.

9. plug

Plug? WHAT plug?

Oh yes.. you have a plug.

And you're going to lose said plug.

How many times can I type plug in a minute..

I'm going to have you google "mucous plug" in another internet window & proceed with caution.. especially if you're going to view images.

Then come back to this post & join in again.

Not everyone gets the "joy" of seeing their plug when it's lost, which is typically a couple of weeks to days before labor begins. But some of us, myself included, do.

So if you're using the bathroom, showering or changing your undies & see what looks to be some sort of mucous.. it is. Still confused? Like, your V just blew her nose in your pants.

*did she just type that?*

Gross, I know.

BUT - it's SUPPOSED to happen. And it's another sign that your body is gearing up for the big day!! Eww.. I mean, YAY! haha

10. hormones

I still haven't decided which are worse, pregnancy hormones or postpartum hormones. Let's just say they're BOTH super intense.

Hormones causing you to cry.. errr SOB.. during commercials or while folding baby laundry are the SAME hormones leaving you ready to murder your spouse for the smallest thing.. like, leaving the store without one of the TEN important must haves you've had a hankering for. Bless their hearts.

You're not a basket case, mama. You're just pregnant.

11. Dat nose

Prepare to be impressed with yourself.. again.

Girlfriend, your sniffer is going to develop SKILLZ - like, the equivalent to a team of cracked-out blood hounds tracking a scent.

I kid you not.

You'll be able to smell what your husband had for lunch five days ago - what the walmart staff brought for their lunch & put in the break room from the CHECKOUT line - & all of the "unscented" items in your home.

The overload of all these scents can be a lot though.

Beware of NEW things.

And beware of familiar things becoming repulsive.

One Saturday morning my husband was opening up some coffee beans to grind & brew, note that I LOVE coffee, but the literal INSTANT I smelled it, I threw up in the sink. 

It's the weirdest thing.

This combined with nesting - stay tuned - produces the cleanest house everrrrr.

#findallthedirt

12. time flies.. or it crawls

One day you're counting down the days, just imagining what it will be like to have your due date right around the corner.

Then, you'll hit the point where you count the number of weekends you have left before baby & you'll PANIC that there's not enough time to tackle your to do list.. or to have dates with your spouse.. or sleep in (well, try to).

THEN, you'll hit your final month of pregnancy.

And while most months of the year have between 28-31 days, your last month of pregnancy has approximately 453.

It's the my odd experience to feel like you've time warped & also that the moments stand as you anticipate baby.

13. that MOP though

If there was ONE thing I could physically bring back from pregnancy (besides the cute bump & feeling baby kicks, obvi), I would HANDS down want my hair back.

You should google it so you know the exact science behind it all, but basically you stop shedding like you normally do while you're pregnant.

What does that mean?

CUE THE VOLUME, GIRL!!!

..like, shampoo model status.

For reals.

So soak it up.

Becauseeeeee the portpartum hair LOSS sucks.

But those 9 months of leading up to it - they're GLORIOUS!

14. oh it's "NORMAL"

I kind of joked around this in the beginning of this post, but it couldn't be more true. When you have symptoms, feelings or experiences from conception until birth - do NOT be shocked when you google it & it's SOMEHOW a "normal" or potential side affect of pregnancy.

And I'm not just talking about normal stuff.. but off the wall things.

It's funny if you don't stress too much.

Laugh about it & write it down so you can remember it all later!

(seriously, it would be HILARIOUS to go back through my google history through pregnancy. Stuff you NEVER thought you'd type..)

15. sex

Yep, I'm going there.

**If you're related to me by marriage - consider yourself warned & I'd go ahead and just skip right over this one**

Back to sex.

It's what got you here, right?

Maybe it was whoops sex - or maybe it was scheduled, trying to conceive sex.

Sex during pregnancy is so interesting though.

You'll either WANT it.. often.

You'll forget it exists because you're EXHAUSTED - don't worry this is temporary.

Or want to be FAR from it.. not because of your spouse, but because "HELLO there's a human inside of me."

If you're the latter, let me encourage you.

Take the time to stay romantically connected to your spouse during pregnancy.

Gosh, it's such a special time together before the BIGGEST change in your relationship. Cherish those moments - know you are BEAUTIFUL - and connect with that person you created LIFE with.

*also note that you maybe want to attempt some new positions for comfort. okay, TMI train out!*

Because there's no sex for 6 weeks after baby.

Then after that, it's like a new world finding your sexual "rhythm" again.

So GO for it!

Bow-chicka-bow-wow

16. the wand

Wand.. a WAND?

Like fairy Godmother wand?

"oh Lord, where's she going with this?"

Maybe you're so far passed it that you've already forgotten.

#pregnancybrain

#mombrain

Or maybe you're so early on that you haven't experienced it yet.

Just picture it..

You're FIRST prenatal visit.

You're SO excited for that 8-10 week ultrasound.

You count down the days.

You have butterflies on your way to the office.

You step into the room, heart beating out of your chest & the nurse says "okay, you can go ahead & get undressed from the waist down. Just sit on the table & cover yourself with this sheet."

You think to yourself, "that's weird." But you roll with it.

The, you hop up on the table, prior feelings resume.

The nurse says, "okay, honey. put your put up on here & scoot your bottom down."

You act like everything's normal & you're not at all caught off guard, but on the inside you're thinking "UH, does she KNOW I'm not here for my pap!?!"

THEN, the wand comes out. She squirts some warm lube on the end. And you can imagine the rest.

Meet - the wand.

Fortunately, you don't give two RIPS about the wand because hopefully you're getting to see your precious little bean of a baby for the first time & see a flickering heartbeat.

You're do it over & over again for that magical moment.

Adios, wand!!

Ultrasounds from here on out are on that belly, momma!

(Mamas reading this who have experienced loss - my heart is with you. I'll never forget the moment my world shattered when I saw our first baby on an ultrasound with no heart beat. Your time is coming. Until then, keep believing, dear one)

17. you know I'm just pregnant, right?

Okay so how about this one..

You're out & about, doing your thing.

You're picking up some groceries & at the check out, the bagger asks if you need help carrying those three bags to the car.

Exsqueeze me?

Or, you're at the post office. Mailing back some maternity clothes that don't fit your preggo body. You're standing in line, chilling, & the woman in the front of the line offers you to go in front of her.

Oh thanks.. wait, what?

Come on, now.

What am I, y'all?

That first example was real life OTEN & used to annoy me so much.

I'd tell people - I workout daily so I promise I can carry my groceries..

Seriously, the day I walked out with a watermelon on my hip around 30ish weeks, you would've thought I had a third eye!

The second example is also a true story - it me feel so awkward because I didn't feel like I needed the special treatment. NOW, while it would have been awesome to skip those ten spots to the front of the line, I just couldn't justify it.

It doesn't come from a bad place when people make these offers.

But it DID somehow surprise me every time.

Maybe you'll love the perks & attention.

Or maybe you're like me & you'll need this response saved for constant use.

Because I might have a BELLY, so I'm super hella capable, y'all.

*okay, don't say that out loud*

And this bump doesn't impact my abilities (for the most part),

to stand in line or carry things.

*don't say that quite yet either UNLESS they're persistent*

But this works..

"You know I'm just pregnant, right?"

And go on with your bad self..

18. personal space

Okay this one is the last about PEOPLE.

Can you tell I'm an introvert yet!?? Ha..

You know that normal bubble people have?

The normal space around your body that people respect because, well, it's YOUR friggin BODY?

Yeah.

It disappears when your pregnant.

(& with a baby, but I'll save that for later because I'm still figuring it out)

This, perhaps, infuriated me most.

Mostly because people assume their rights to your body.

People will reach &, if they make contact, touch or rub your belly.

Are you cringing like I am just thinking about it?

Somehow it's forgotten that your belly is an extension of YOU & your personal space - which was TERRIFYING for me.

Nate & I had a long chat about this early on - he finally understood where I was coming from - and would run my "interference" when we were out & about.

#husbandoftheyearagain

So heads up, incase you're a PersonalSpace offender,

but hadn't thought about it before.

Ask first.

Do NOT be offended if you hear, "no thanks."

It's not your right.

It's my body.

Nuff. Said.

19. nesting

Nope - you're not on crack.

Yes, those closets NEED to be reorganized 3 times.

It's totally normal.

You're NESTING, mama.

I'll try to explain it.

The URGE you feel to prepare.

But you just have to experience it.

Suddenly your environment, the one that you've LIVED IN.. that you've possibly been prepping for months, is suddenly NOT clean anymore or ready enough for a baby.

One day you wake up & realize you need to PURGE, POLISH & TIDY..

ev.ry.thing.

Don't feel crazy.

And don't be surprised if your hubby goes through his own version of this.

Nate actually pressure washed our entire house & cleaned the garage before Raegan was born. I might have made the suggestion, but he TOTALLY thought it made sense & obliged. Ha

Nest away, mama bird!

20. mama bear instinct

Speaking of animals.

first a bird, now a bear.

Let's talk about some straight primal instinct.

Oofta!

It's intense.

The innate feeling of responsibility & the engrained need to PROTECT something.. rather someONE you haven't even held in your hands yet. 

If that WAVE of instinct & emotion hasn't quite taken hold yet,

it's just a matter of time.

I remember early on in my pregnancy with Raegan - we were painting her room one night. I was imagining her in it. I was imagining her growing up.

Suddenly..

I was imagining going to bat for her. In the most random scenarios.

Protecting her. Guarding her.

My body got HOT. I started to sweat.

And I was suddenly ready to put the SMACK DOWN on someone for my girl.

..who was nestled in my belly.

You may have thought this would start when the baby was born.

But it actually only intensifies that day.

Don't feel bad.. or weird.

..again.

That instinct.

That intuition.

That line you teeter on.

The readiness to defend & protect..

That GUT feeling.

It's ALWAYS right, as long as that little one is under your care!

Trust it.

It's there for a reason!

21. love

Everyone says this.

And it's completely true.

There's no love like the love for a child.

It's such a privilege.

It's a gift.

It's nearly miraculous.

Becoming a parent uncovers sides of you you NEVER knew existed.

It fills your life with something you didn't know was missing.

The day you get a positive test - the day you see that heartbeat for the first time - the first time you feel a squirm & kick - the moment you go into labor & know it's only a matter of time before you meet that child for the first time - your body & soul is washed over with a love words can't quite describe.

And just when you think it can't grow, your baby is born.

*cue the water works*

________________________________________

Pregnancy.

It's such an incredible, interesting experience that you simple cannot compare to anything else you'll ever go through.

I hope you've enjoyed this post.

I hope you've laughed a little.

I hope you feel prepared.

I hope you feel some solidarity, mama!

 Because I had fun writing this - and reliving my own pregnancy!!

So what's next up in our "THINGS I DIDN'T KNOW BEFORE.." blog series?

Stay tuned!!