"So Are You Going to Have Another?"

"are you going to have another yet?"

Who else hears that all the time?

Whether directly from well meaning strangers and friends or that voice inside your head as you scroll past baby 2,3 & beyond baby announcements on Facebook and instagram.

Can a family unit really be complete with "just one?"

Can your heart or body not pause to relish the life of a single child before adding to the mix?

I KNOW I've asked this question before to others.

It's almost one that rolls off the tongue without thought.

And while there's nothing wrong with wondering & asking (if you feel connected to the individual because yes, I don't believe we should be asking these questions to strangers), I DO think how we respond to that mother is important.

We have no clue of their reason for the "wait."

And quite frankly, it's none of our business.

Whether chosen for various very valid reasons - such as dad is ALWAYS gone & mom would like to rear a family together or maybe they'd like to pay off debt or take time to work on their relationships or possibly mom had such horrid pregnancies that wreaked havoc on her body.

Or what if the "decision" was chosen FOR the parent because of something like secondary infertility, not being able to afford the means by which it took them to conceive previously or quite possibly, even, they are "just" content.

I will be very open with where I stand personally & I will also say in the same breath that God is in control and could change my (our) heart at any moment.. as He did back in 2015 when he took our hearts of stone towards children and gave us the desire for a family.

I too feel the self imposed pressure from watching other families unfold in number, reminiscing over my childhood with siblings & even listening to Raegan begin to ask questions about babies. I have to work through that.

I get the questions with follow up questions with encouragement & all the reasons we should "do it" at social events and family gatherings.

I'm there with you.

And while sometimes I feel the "guilt" for my only child who honestly isn't missing out on any love, interaction or community. Or the "guilt" knowing that others are earnestly pleading with God to start a family while I have reservations over growing ours, even though I've BEEN there in that season of waiting & grieving before myself.. aching for a womb that is full. I pray we never experience that again. And I truly am so sensitive to couples who are enduring this season.

I am, however, reminded that I.. Lindsey Ghoens.. in my specific circumstances.. am living out my purpose.

As a child of God & wife.

Then as a mother.

Of one.

And I am walking in obedience as I rest in contentment.

Only He knows what the future holds.

I'm okay with that

Pages