Things I Didn't Know Before: Life with a Newborn

You anticipate for what feels like days & months on end.

You do absolutely everything you can to prepare - to the point of seriously running out of a to do list.

You soak up each moment with your spouse, but you've both never been so ready for the next chapter.

You know life as you know it will soon change forever.

But you're dying to meet that baby.

Then, in an instant (well, labor surely isn't an instant.. but that moment RIGHT before the doctor hands you the baby & you lift your eyes to look) EVERYTHING changes.

Welcome to parenthood.

But more specifically, welcome to life with a newborn.

The next couple of months are going to be like nothing

you could have ever fully imagined.

You'll laugh.

You'll cry.

You'll laugh & cry.

You'll feel in love.

You'll feel delusional.

You'll feel clueless.

You'll feel elated.

You'll feel sadness.

You'll feel, well, everything.

And sometimes, you won't even know WHAT you're feeling.

..in a day. HA!

That's because this season of life is ALL consuming.

Of mind, body & spirit.

It's like the hardest test or training you'll ever endure.. at least it is, as far as I've come!

Growing a human was intense.

And pretty darn amazing.

But raising that human & keeping them alive.

Now THAT'S some work!!

So whether you've been there done that.

Or it's coming up soon..

I hope you can read this & laugh a little.

Remember what you freaking survived.

Or catch a glimpse of what you're gearing up for.

It's time to talk about:

Things I Didn't know Before.. Life with a NEWBORN

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Welcome to being a ROOKIE!

You'd think that I wouldn't have felt so clueless since I was a nanny for YEARS, have two little sisters & read a ton of books, right?

..WRONG.

*moms around the world reading this laugh in my virtual face.. HA*

Never in my life have I felt more like a rookie than when I was handed my sweet little bundle & was left to figure out how to keep her alive, breast feed & somehow take care of myself.

What's more..

The feeling of "S*** just got REAL" when you leave the hospital & walk in your front door with an infant car seat is almost enough to make you laugh & cry.

How can I explain it..

It's like that thought when had you brought a puppy home & listened to it cry (more like WAIL) the whole first night.. except times a million.

Just me with our pointer, Tannyn?

Okay - I'm only part serious.

Take heart though!

It really IS amazing - because you DO figure it out!

.. and seriously don't feel bad for feeling like a clueless, guessing chump wether it's your first kid or not (I mean seriously - EVERY child is different!).

Let me STOP you now so you can add something to your mile long to do list!

If you've never watched the show "Life in Pieces," imma need you to go find episode 1 & wait for the short segment on new parents Greg & Jenn. Jenn is seriously my spirit animal & basically EVERYTHING they go through the whole first season is true as a first time parent.

Prepare to laugh your booty off.

You've never googled like this before..

You MIGHT be a new parent if in the same day you google normal sleep noises of babies, tips on removing poop stains from your bedding & what to do with raw or bloody nipples. You also might be a new parent if you pop over to youtube for some techniques on infant fart freeing or baby burrito wrapping tutorials.

The google machine is both a blessing & a curse - but mostly a blessing.

And let me just say.. our parents are the real MVPs for raising babies without probably HALF or more of what we have these days!! Talk about taking a shot in the dark every day.

Honestly, SO much of newborn parenting is guess work + intuition anyways, but having the internet to validate your feelings or at least not feel so alone is incredibly valuable.

Holy night sweats, batman.

Fortunately, I wasn't shocked by this because I had a friend who warned me. But I still remember our first night in the hospital, waking up with INSANE sweat all over my body. I had gone to sleep cold just a few hours before, but woke up later feeling like I IMMEDIATELY needed every piece of clothing off my body!

My night sweats continued for only another week or so, then disappeared. However, that crazy hormone change you go through in the "fourth trimester" definitely makes you generally WARMER than you were before.

You've never wished for gas so hard.

During those first few weeks of life, your sweet babe is going through some MAJOR adjustments & changes (okay.. this never really stops BUT this part is a big deal!).

I feel like aside from working through some intense reflux for several weeks, the HARDEST thing with Rae was the newborn gas!

Their poor little digestive systems are so immature & are trying to digest the milk we're giving them. You take for granted as an adult the ability to let it rip. But those poor little babes will squirm, kick & cry their hardest when those bubbles are trapped.

We wished & PRAYED for that gas to pass.

We tried drops.

We tried massages.

We tried leg pumps/circles.

We tried the windi sticks (which Nate went to 3 stores for at 10pm).

We tried the thermometer technique.

.. we were DESPERATE to figure out how to provide relief.

That is the worst feeling as a parent.

Not being able to help your child.

But like everything else, it eventually passes.. literally. HA!

Hang in there!!

Near narcolepsy?

In my years PB (pre-baby), I wasn't a napper.

I mean - during my first trimester of pregnancy, I most DEFINITELY was.

But typically, I just have never been a big sleeper!

Even falling asleep when being tired was an issue for me at times.

I remember wondering if I'd be able to catch up on sleep occasionally by taking naps after Reagan arrived.

If you're like me - have NO fear.

It's like God gave me this incredible ability for the first month or so to fall asleep INSTANTLY when I got horizontal or closed my eyes.

I'm not even kidding.

SO. FAST.

This trick comes in HANDY when you are trying to squeeze in Z's to break your record of 2 hours at a time.

I think this is probably the closest you ever get to experiencing narcolepsy.. 

It's amazing what you can do half asleep!

Speaking of "sleep."

It's seriously incredible what you can do when you're half asleep from constant exhaustion & living in your new zombie state of existence.

Literally.. all the things.

Feeding.

Eating.

Pumping.

Changing diapers.

Changing clothes.

Rocking.

Washing bottles.

Showering.

..you name it.

Just be careful because ALTHOUGH you're miraculously getting things done, you might accidentally put socks in your refrigerator or body soap in your hair (& forget to rinse it.. true story).

What's a full or warm meal anyways?

Remember when you used to pick up a warm plate & watch the steam come off it in front of you. You'd occasionally even burn your tongue because you weren't patient enough to blow on it..

Well, your taste buds are pretty much safe for the next 3 months because warm meals are a thing of the past - full meals are too, unless you have prepared something in advance or go & pick one up.

Contrary to popular belief, it is PERFECTLY acceptable in the fourth trimester to consider trail mix a balanced meal. Also, a spoonful of Ben & Jerry's each night to lift your dampened yet joy-filled spirit is also okay for at least the first 6 weeks..

Make the switch to cold coffee.

Remember that last blurb about hot food?

Yep, the same applies to your coffee - which is likely decaf or in half doses now if you're breastfeeding anyways.

I'm going to go ahead & save you about 20 trips to the microwave.. a day.

While there's just nothing like a warm cup o joe when you're exhausted & needing a pick me up, you might wanna make the switch for a few months to a delicious cold brew.

Or maybe save that nice, hot mug for the weekends when you & the baby daddy are home together & you've got some extra hands around!

"Sleep when the baby sleeps".. so they say.

I can't tell you how many times I've heard this - but I think I maybe took a nap twice when Rae slept.. like EVER.

Sure, sleep is SO important.

But in those teeny windows of dual hand/mental freedom, you have a choice..

1) Close your eyes and CRASH

2) Try to knock out basic tasks like dishes, laundry or tidying up

3) General self care like a shower or you know.. eating

Usually, one of the latter options won out.

I just couldn't handle feeling like I was swamped & behind in my household - but I also needed the sanity & nourishment of basic self care.

So naps were scarce for us - but you better BELIEVE we learned to cut out nighttime netflix & started to go to bed EARLY.

Because you also just NEVER know those first several weeks what nighttime will bring; whether you'll get a 2-3 or 4-5 hour stretch of sleep.. OR if the baby will somehow know the INSTANT your head hits the pillow & wake up to "rage" for the next 3 hours.

You will sleep when the baby sleeps - at night - in a few weeks.

It'll come!

Witching Hours

*I actually edited this blog post to add this part in. Mom brain is real & so is the newborn life amnesia, because this was a SIGNIFICANT piece of our first two months with Raegan that I WISH I had been more "prepared" for.*

I had literally NEVER heard of this term until after Rae was born. I posted on Facebook that we were having the same, ROUGH few hours every single night & got several responses telling me it was probably some variation of something people call a baby's witching hours.

A HUGE huge part of this was the reflux our poor, sweet girl fought for WEEKS. But MAN, those 3-5 hours every night were so brutal, y'all.

I remember when she would start to get fussy around dinner time & our stomachs would sink, anticipating what was possibly.. and likely coming.

Rocking, bouncing, singing, rubs, baths, talking, swaying, praying - we tried everything. And it took every ounce of our mental & emotional energy each night to make it through. But we did - we made it through as a TEAM.

Lean in to each other! Try not to lose it on your partner when you're at your whits end. It's going to be okay. Take deep breaths. Cry if you need to. Hold that baby tight. Step away & trade off as needed. You're not alone..

A day isn't complete until you're wearing bodily fluids.

In the early days, this applies to everyone in the household..

errrbody's fair game!

Later on this seems to only be a daily mom "perk."

Because somehow, Nate always gets SO lucky & misses those moments.

I remember in my first week or two of breastfeeding, shooting myself, Nate & Raegan in the face with milk one sleepy night when we were working on a latch improvement technique.

It was actually kind of hilarious.

Breast milk (from unexpected or torrential let downs) & spit up will be like your motherhood war paint. Don't fight it.

So stick to nursing bras/tanks & your cute but COMFY lounge wear that you're not super attached to for a while.

OH - and huge tip!

Don't just pack extra clothes for baby in your car or diaper bag. Definitely pack at least an extra top for yourself in each bag/car. You seriously NEVER know when you're going to need it!

Get comfy in the back seat of your car!

Can I just say that I NEVER realized how much time I'd spend in the back seat of our vehicles with a newborn?!

I'm not even kidding - like an HOUR at a time!

I'm guessing it's not quite as long if you aren't breastfeeding, but nonetheless it's a chunk of time.

Yes - I know some of you are picking up your jaw or shaking your head - It took me every bit of an HOUR to nurse + burp Rae on both sides with a diaper change in between. I'm aware that's not ideal, but that's what we did for MONTHS.

So put some water bottles, snacks & sun shades in the back seat.

Make sure you're filled up on gas too..

And if you really wanna get crazy - toss your nursing pillow in the car when you know you're going to be out for a while!

The quickest showers of your life.

Motherhood is the catalyst for a new level of efficiency.

You'll forget everything because #MomBrain, BUT you're multitasking abilities & overall SPEED is about to sky rocket.

Let's talk about the shower..

It's been what feels like 12 days, but is "only" 4, since your last shower..

You feel RACHET & are itching for just a few minutes to RELAX & enjoy warm water against your skin.

You know you're only going to stay clean for about 30 seconds after your shower exit, but you don't care. It's going to change your LIFE for 30 seconds & renew your soul!

So you hop in..

And 30 seconds later, you hear crying.

You pick up speed.

You try to relax, but you hear your husband outside the door shushing the baby.

You know it's a matter of time.

You just need to wash your hair real quick.

Is there time?

Sure there is.. you'll be fast.

You lather up.. finish rinsing off your body & step out.

You go to dry your hair..

CRAP, you forgot to rinse it.

Wait a sec - what did I put in my hair.

Did I ever grab the shampoo bottle?

You realize you used body soap on your hair.

Whatever.. you rinse & get out.

You go to dry your legs.

CRAP, you only shaved one leg.

Whatever.. your baby is losing it & your husband is hinting to see when you're going to be done.

You look at the clock & somehow you only spend 4.5 minutes in the shower attempting a full groom & mental rejuvenation.

Gosh - you're good.

A walking disaster, but good!

Beware of middle of the night feeds shopping.

What's a girl to do when you're up every 2-4 hours in the middle of the night for an hour at a time & trying your hardest to stay awake.

Well - you could FB scroll - nah..

You could try to watch something on the food network - the noise is too risky!

Or, you could just peek instead at one of your favorite stores.. like target.

Or maybe check out amazon - I'm SURE you need a quick prime fix.

OR you could just check some deal sites like JANE or groopdealz to see if there's anything sweet for the baby. It doesn't count as crazy spending if it's "for the baby.." right?

Might be a good idea not to have your wallet close to the bedroom for a bit..

That way you can fill your cart at night - then think about it during the day for a bit to decide if you still need 2 more teethers & another crinkling animal book.

Don't.Look.Down.There.

All I'm going to say is to listen to your midwife or OB when they tell you to let the "area" HEAL for at least 6 weeks.

I made the mistake of peeking around week 3 - not just out of curiosity, but I could tell something was off (I have pelvic floor damage that I had PT for). Generally speaking though, there's NO reason to look early unless you're wanting to be in shock at the aftermath of the miracle your body just performed.

You HAVE to remember - you just went through something MAJOR.

Totally natural, yes, but major nonetheless. 

You must give yourself time to recover.

Our bodies are incredible & they WILL bounce back - but it's going to take longer than you think.

So just.. don't look down there for a while.

And maybe have hubby switch the "you can look but you can't touch" mentality for a couple of months until you're feeling more like yourself!

That's right - don't avoid the touching, mama!!

You need to stay connected to your dude.

But yeah - eyes up HERE.

Write down the milestones because you will NOT remember them.

Write everything down.

Because your best intention of remembering is just not good enough.

You'll think you figured out a way to lock it away in what used to be your steel trap, but a few weeks later you will be completely blank over the matter!

So even if it's on sticky notes on the top of your baby book or even slapped on the fridge temporarily - document them now so you can copy it later into whatever keepsake you've chosen.

You might get a smidgen jealous & really miss your man!

Jealous?

Of the baby?

Hear me out..

You absolutely LOVE the way your man looks at that baby - the way he loves & cares for both of y'all makes you hot & weepy all at once.

But having to start sharing your best friend & other half is NOT an easy adjustment for some, like myself.

I remember watching Nate & Rae together - thinking that they were the cutest duo I had ever seen.

But I also remember thinking - does he notice me anymore? Do I captivate him in the same way? When am I going to get alone time with him??

Gosh I hope I'm encouraging someone else out there.

YES - I think it's perfectly normal to get a little jealous.

Your PERSON is starting to share mental/emotional space + their precious TIME with your sweet little bundle.

You're so glad about it & wouldn't have it any other way, but you're also a bit envious.

Just hang in there - let them bond.

I promise you'll find you rhythm again soon if you make a consistent effort!!!

Do NOT feel guilty for having ALL the feels.

Girl, your body is on a roller coaster ride of a life time as your hormones change, your body is adjusting, your emotions are sky rocketing & your mind is trying to function despite exhaustion.

Sometimes you might feel like you're losing it or crazy from going from being overjoyed to sobbing in minutes.. or even for feeling both at the same time.

It's normal

BUT keep an eye on yourself & make sure you're talking to your partner or a friend and being HONEST about how you feel! Because..

Baby blues are r e a l.

PPD, PTSD, anxiety & baby blues.

They are ALL real & every women is susceptible.

I actually was a little skeptical before having Reagan of whether or not the baby blues were really as intense as some had told me they were.

But a couple of days after coming home - for a couple of WEEKS after having Rae - I would catch myself absolutely SOBBING & feeling down for "no reason." I say no reason with that virtual tone because although I couldn't explain why I felt the way I did, it's no surprise you feel like you're about to break with everything you're trying to process/learn/recover from in a short time.

I still, nearly 10 months postpartum, even deal with extreme anxiety on a daily basis - doing my very best to conceal it from people around me to avoid judgment or skepticism. It flares up with things having to do with Reagan (that you'd probably expect) like leaving her, trusting her with others, safety, driving, exposure to illness, medical decisions, something happening to us - but also down to the SMALLEST daily things (that you may not expect) like feeding, interaction with our dogs or even sleep. 

I know now, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that it doesn't matter how strong you feel like you are or how amazing your support system is. None of us are "beyond" being susceptible to dealing with one or more of these conditions.

Please be sure to reach out to someone if you need to talk!

Get yourself a postpartum buddy

Speaking of support - it is SO important to have.

So you KNOW you've got the option to confide in someone when you need it.

Find a friend you can text at the most random time (hello, nighttime nursing hours) who is either in the trenches with you or has gone through the same season of life recently.

Being able to talk, ask questions, bounce ideas off another brain or even vent is more therapeutic than you realize. Empathy & a listening ear is everything!

Your dear friends who haven't gone through life with a newborn are so special & you do need them.. BUT, when you barely have time to talk & it's pretty much always about your life in the trenches - there's just nothing like having a postpartum buddy!

Shout out to the girls who got me through - my sister Lauren, Kinsey, Ali, Brittany & Uli. Love y'all!

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That's all for today!

Writing this post flooded my heart & mind with so many memories and feelings from the hardest season of my life. A season that made Nate & I so much stronger as a couple. A season that taught us sacrificial love. A season that started a bond with our little girl that words cannot describe.

 Life with a newborn is certainly a wild ride - but I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat for the love I've found as a mother!

If you missed my first post in my "Things I Didn't Know Before" series, click here! If you have a suggestion for my next post - be sure to drop it in the comments.

Until next time..

Thanks for reading,

Our Birth Story: Told From a Husband's Perspective

every time I read this - I get choked up.

Mommas, you know it's one thing to remember one of the best days of your life through the lens of your own memories. But my gosh - it's another thing to experience it all over again through the recollections of your husband, who was your partner, biggest support & ROCK through the most incredible bonding experience.

Nathan, thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to write down these precious moments - I will cherish them forever.

I love you.
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" I will never forget the feeling the day I first saw my sweet Rae on the ultrasound. The first time I saw and heard her heart beat was like the “shot heard around the world”, in that, every ounce of my existence suddenly became aware of her existence and I knew from that moment forward my life would never be the same. The magnitude of responsibility that lay ahead and the mental and emotional gravitational pull to her is something that is unexplainable but, I can say this, my heart felt in cadence with hers and my mind started racing to walking her down the aisle on her wedding day and how I would be an emotional wreck to give her away.

Fast forward 7 months…

We are back at the OBGYN to see our midwife, which has been our normal weekly routine for about 5 weeks. Lindsey is 2 days past her due date and I am sitting outside the fetal monitoring room where the door remains closed if other patients are in there, which I hate because I can’t see my baby momma and I feel helpless. Then, the door to the room opens and I see the nurse come out first with a look of haste on her face and Lindsey right behind her, eyes wide open. Lindsey says to me “I think my water broke!" The next moment was like drinking 10 cups of coffee within seconds, my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest and my hands were shaky. I had to do my best to contain my excitement because this is an everyday occurrence for these nurses, but for me, it was the start of an event that I knew would change my life forever! Well needless to say, I couldn’t contain my excitement. Part of me was ready for the nurse to say go to the hospital that little girl is on her way, but they didn’t; so I stood by anxious and nervous for the plan ahead. Lindsey and I left the OBGYN and headed toward the house.

Once we got home Lindsey, continued with her workout routine, and I am thinking, this woman is amazing! Her tenacity and dedication to a healthy pregnancy was admirable. Following her work out we decided to go to one of our favorite spots for lunch, The Donut Hole. We had to make this meal count; it was our last meal as the two of us and I knew I needed to pack in the calories because it was most likely going to be a long night. Throughout the course of the day, I am asking myself when these contractions are going to start - it’s nearly 2:00pm and nada…nothing. With a full belly we finished up lunch and headed home. I finally convinced her we should lay down and take a nap, since we needed as much rest as we could get for the arrival of our sweet girl, which to my surprise, she agreed to. I think we woke up around 4 something and still no real contractions, at this point I am beginning to think this girl is never coming. As Lindsey was getting up she received a phone call from her friend and I took that as an opportunity to go over my notes that I had taken from the litany of books we had read on pregnancy and the birth process. From my time in the military I have always heard the phrase “fail to prepare, prepare to fail” and I took that to heart, as this was our first child and we were going to be laboring at home. What was I thinking you might ask? Not sure! But I knew that if Lindsey and I were working together in this we would be fully prepared mentally and physically. My notes covered the 3 phases of the birth process in detail, outlined the symptoms of each, timing of contractions, how long each phase should be, what I should do in the event of an emergency and whatever information I felt pertinent to be the best husband throughout this process. Around 5:15, I can see Lindsey beginning to get uncomfortable while she was on the phone with her friend and she motions to me that she may be having a contraction. I quickly make my way to the bedroom and whip out my phone for the birth app to start timing her contractions. The first contraction was nearly 40 seconds long and according to my notes, this wasn’t supposed to happen until the second phase - all the while Lindsey is still talking on the phone not skipping a beat. The second contraction comes at 5 minutes, again first phase is supposed to be 20-30 mins apart; I thought to myself “am I missing something, I have to be doing this wrong?” At this point I had to literally force Lindsey off the phone so we, moreso I, could focus on what was happening. After the second contraction I texted Lindsey’s mom to give her an update and told her that things were progressing so she may want to start heading this way. Sure enough, Lindsey’s third contraction was about 5 mins apart and 40 seconds long. I was asking myself - what happened to the first phase! Then I told myself, “It doesn’t matter Nate, you are in the moment now”. I immediately jumped into action, rubbing Lindsey’s back, neck and legs like we had practiced so many times before (all Lindsey requests). Over the next three hours Lindsey’s contractions were faster, longer and more painful. Fortunately, Lindsey’s mom came over to lend a helping hand and we followed Lindsey around the house to the point where she had to tell us to give her some space. But like a moth drawn to a flame, I couldn’t leave my wife’s side. I stayed an arm’s length away to avoid any unintentional contact, but close enough to rescue my damsel in distress. I couldn’t believe how fast the contractions were coming and how long they were lasting, so I made the decision to load Lindsey up in the car when her contractions were 2:15 apart.


It took no time loading Lindsey and our pre-packed prepositioned bags up for the 40 minute journey to the hospital. Every step of the labor process the realization that this was actually going to happen was coming to fruition, I had run the driving scenario in my head many times before - what to do in the event the baby comes during the drive, where the bad traffic spots were, that we needed to call the hospital en-route. Fortunately, every light in Panama City Beach was green. But Lindsey’s position in the back seat was causing more pain during the contractions than standing had, so she kneeled down on the floor and rested her head on her moms’ shoulder while I was Dale Ernhart-ing my way through traffic. Lindsey kept saying she felt pressure on her pelvis and I thought for sure we were going to have that baby on the floor of the Tahoe. I was slightly freaking out on the inside but we made it to the hospital with no baby in hand. We pulled up to the front and I hoped out and got Lindsey and asked her if she wanted a wheel chair. I should have known better than to ask that question, her response was simply “no” and I realized that right before my eyes I was watching Lindsey morph into my very own superwoman - and superwoman has no need for a wheelchair. As we made our way up to the second floor, she paused every couple minutes to calmly fight through her contractions. We finally make our way up to Labor and Delivery and began to check-in. As we were checking in, of course, Lindsey is breathing her way through contractions and the nurse at the check in counter seemed to be in no hurry to get Lindsey checked in - all the while I am weathering the greatest internal storm I have ever fought. It reminded me of the sloths at the DMV in the movie “Zootopia”. In what seemed like forever but was only a few short minutes, we moved to our room where I was anxiously waiting for the nurse to come in and check to see how dilated she was and monitor Rae. To my amazement she was only 5cm which meant we had 5 more to go. No big deal, we got this!


Lindsey’s contractions were becoming more intense and her entire body was shaking with each passing contraction. By this point I was stuck to her like velcro, massaging her back and legs and using our 8 sec breathing technique loud enough for her to jump into cadence with my breathing. I knew how important it was going to be for Lindsey to stay hydrated and keep her sugar levels up during this physical, mental and emotional labor process, so in between contractions I offered her lots of water and apple juice and received guidance on the areas that needed massage attention. Lindsey was extremely active during labor…walking around, switching positions and standing - but once a contraction was setting in it took her full attention and all movement stopped. The way she focused on not fighting her contractions with her body and breathing through them was like she had done this 100 times before, it was incredible! The room we were in did not have a bathtub, which Lindsey wanted the option to labor in one to ease the stress on her body, and was roughly 2 hours later before we were moved to a room with a bathtub. It turned out the walk to the other room was exactly what Lindsey’s body needed to catapult her into the last phase of labor.

When we got into the room and Lindsey positioned herself on the bed, the nurse came back in and checked her dilation and she was now at 8cm… the nurses were as surprised as I was at how fast things were moving. It’s hard to describe how time passed during this process. On one hand it was slow and on the other hand time seemed to slip away (I am sure Lindsey’s side is a bit more intense). I was so focused on Lindsey and being proactive to her needs that my mind was not on the near birth of Rae but on the task at hand. Now that we had access to a tub, Lindsey wanted to try and relieve some of the pressure so we hopped in the bath but she found little relief. From the time she got out of the bath and made her way back into the room she had 2 or 3 contractions causing her to stop each time. I could tell the contractions were becoming more intense, her legs were beginning to tighten and give out as she battled through each contraction - she shifted her weight tirelessly to find relief but with little effect. Lindsey had returned back to the bed, with the back of the bed raised to keep her upright as she rested her elbows on the top with her knees were pressed into the bed. The contractions were coming hard and fast, so I ran over to my back pack and grabbed 3 scriptures verses on a note card I had written down to remind her of how awesome and powerful God is and that she needed to draw strength from Him. The position Lindsey was in on the bed was the most comfortable position for her during the contractions, but this position was causing Rae’s heart rate to drop significantly so she was forced to lie on her side bringing Rae’s heart rate back within acceptable limits. As she transitioned to her side, the pressure and pain increased. Up until now, Lindsey had truly embodied “suffer in silence,” but she still barely made a sound. The midwife and nurse were taken aback by how well Lindsey was handling and managing the pain and her body during labor. I was none the less amazed, my superwoman was before me!

The time was now at hand to bring sweet baby Rae into the world! Lindsey was on her side, the Midwife was in the catching position, the nurse was on her right side administering oxygen and I was on her left side holding her knee in the air and breathing with her as she began to push with each contraction. I kept reminding her that God had created her for this, to focus on meeting our sweet girl for the first time and to keep her eye on the prize - and she did just that. She pushed for 45 mins, never once taking her focus off of her purpose and the sweet life we were bringing into the world. As Rae made her debut, the cord was wrapped around her neck - which it turns out was the culprit for causing Rae’s heart rate to drop before. Rae was silent as she entered the world and was placed on Lindsey’s chest. The nurses scrambled to stimulate Rae, but something wasn’t right; her color was off and her breathing was labored. My heart was in my socks and I didn’t know what was happening, but the nurses were extremely professional and calm. The Midwife asked me if I would like to cut the cord during the controlled chaos and I thought to myself “how about you take care of my daughter and don’t worry about me..” But I rushed to cut the cord because I knew questions would only slow things down. They took Rae from Lindsey and placed her underneath a heat lamp and began using a machine to remove fluid from her lungs. The door to the room opened and a nurse came in carrying two huge red bags and headed straight for Rae. I didn’t know what was happening. I was trying to remain calm for Lindsey, but couldn’t take my eyes and my thoughts off Rae. Things seemed to calmed down, but since they had to place Rae on the machine, they were required to take her to the NICU. I followed her back and I was praying to God that he would take care of this situation, and He did just that! Once she arrived at the NICU a nurse came to her side quickly and rolled her to another machine. She observed her for a few minutes before placing any equipment on her (if any equipment was placed on her mandatory 24 hr in NICU). The nurse said that whatever was happening after she was born up until now - she didn't see any more signs of breathing or fluid issues. “She is free to go” - Praise God! My ghost-like appearance from the anxiety and uncertainty began to take on a more lifelike resemblance. I was beaming with excitement as I floated down the hallway to tell Lindsey the great news. We greatly anticipated the arrival of our third wheel (Jk) and Rae showed up about 20 mins later - we were united as a family of 3. I knew from that moment forward that my job as a husband and father, to tend and keep my garden (Genesis 2), was at hand.."

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I hope you enjoyed reading this half as much as I did.

If you'd like to read my personal natural birth story, click here & here!

Thanks for stopping by!

Raising Littles: An Excuse or Fitness FUEL

Your E X C U S E..

..or your F U E L

You decide.

It doesn’t have to be kids though..

It could be your spouse.

Your friends.

Your family.

Your work/schedule.

You name it..

It can either be the reason you never start or always stop.

Or it can be the reason you do it anyways & start acting with purpose.

In my season of life, this precious {but demanding} little nugget could absolutely be the reason I quit, waited for a “better time” or take it easy.

I mean.. sleepless nights, breastfeeding, clogged ducts, baby colds & more are ALL the reason NOT to, right?

Until I got myself a bit of perspective.

It’s my oxygen mask.

My full cup.

My best self that I (1) enjoy reaping the benefits from like confidence

(2) honor the Lord through

(3) give back to my family, work & friends.

So toss the excuses & focus on what fuels you 🤛🏻

{PS: my 9 week progress photos + stats for 80 Day Obsession are DONE & I can't wait to share them with you soon. Stay tuned!! FOUR weeks left!}

Chocolate Peanut Butter Bites: 80 Day Obsession Approved Recipe

Chocolate Peanut Butter BITES

Ahhhh, another week of this 80 day program down &

another "refeed" {aka glycogen boost} day is UP.

Read more about what the heck we're doing HERE in my post about 80 Day Obsession!

I decided to choose a new approved treat to try this week - although the chickpea brownies I've made twice now are my SOULMATE SNACK - so they better be good, right??

This recipe is actually from my trainer for these 13 weeks - who also just so happens to be the creator of a life-changing meal/recipe plan called "fixate" that I've been following for a larger part of the past 3 years.

Any meal plan that allows some freedom for chocolate & peanut butter is a win in my book, am I right!?

I'm slapping my own name on these tasty nuggets + sharing a couple of my own personal tweaks. BUT.. I gotta give credit to my girl Autumn for being the OG creator of this one!

Ready for the recipe??

Here we go..

Ingredients:

1 cup All-Natural Peanut Butter

(the original recipe called for smooth, but I went CHUNKY!)

1 tbsp Cornstarch

3/4 cup Coconut Flour

2 tbsp pure maple syrup

(next time I'll probably try honey or agave instead)

8 oz. Semi Sweet Chocolate, 62% cocoa or higher, chopped

2 tsp extra virgin organic coconut oil, unrefined

*I also used a little pink himalayan sea salt!*

Directions:

Line a large baking sheet with parchment paper & set to the side.

Combine the peanut butter, cornstarch, coconut flour & maple syrup in a bowl; stir with a spatula until the mixture forms a uniform dough.

 

Using {clean.. duh} hands, shape the dough into 24 one inch balls. If you want to make the next step easier, place a toothpick in the center of each ball.

Place the balls on the prepared baking sheet & refrigerate for about 20 minutes.

Fill a small pot with about 2 inches of water. Bring the water to a boil over high heat, then reduce to low.

Place a heat-proof mixing bowl over the pot & add the chocolate and coconut oil. Stir for 2 to 3 minutes, or until just melted.

Remove balls from the refrigerator.

If you used them, hold a ball by the toothpick and dip into chocolate, swirling to completely coat. I personally just rolled them in the chocolate & dropped them on the sheet. It's a bit messier, but I like working with my hands.

 

Return to baking sheet. Repeat with each ball.

If you want to amp up your flavah, sprinkle a SMALL amount of himalayan salt on the balls, before the next step.

Refrigerate for at least 1 hour, or until chocolate has hardened.

Finally, store in airtight container & try not to eat them all!

They are SO darn good, y'all.

These are most definitely still a TREAT, so remember moderation & savor one at a time.

For my readers who are following the fixate plan, one of these is equal to a "yellow container."

If you're working through 80 Day Obsession like we are, one of these is equal to a "dirty yellow container" ONLY on your refeed day!

 Give these a try & let me know what you think!

They're HEAVENLY.